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We bring you live, phresh news by our very own nariyal tael endorsing, beetal nut chewing southie-based reporter, Naayar Felix Menon. Nothing escapes this mallu bloodhound, nothing (except the chicks, somehow all the nariyal tael is not helping)

Snooping around the bootiphul.. err.. I mean beautiful campus of XLRI, Jamshedpur, our mallu brings you the mind blowing news report about the largest producer of milk and milk products in the world, Makhmul. Fed up with dealing over only milk based products, this giant cooperative federation has decided to take up its arms against the likes of players like UB group and others by launching a highly innovative and out-of-the box product line of liquor based milk products. A few rumored future products of Amul are Vodka Flavoured Milk, Processed Cheese with Rum Extracts, and Gin based malted drinks.

As per our reporter, the actual culprits behind this plan are the highly coverted members of a secret group OMAXI at XLRI. These cunning fellows came up with this idea during one of their several night-out-drinking-sessions-followed-by-loud-discussions-at-regent-breakfasts, and they very easily convinced the simple minded board of directors of Makhmul who themselves were looking to move into new product lines.

For all the research and innovations, OMAXI is planning to get funding from Axes bank and T&L Finance; and for this very purpose it has placed some key members of OMAXI and others who will be joining both the organizations very shortly. Apart from the funding, they also have plans to insure themselves by CICIC Pra, designed only for them specially through contacts in the insurance company.

Although this has been happening for quite some time, surprisingly no news has come out in the open. Our reporter inquired into this, and very soon came up with the reason. A past ex-hitman of the Dubai based Daewood Ibrahim group, who is also pursing Business Management at XLRI, will be joining Bharat Times very shortly. This gentleman, through all his contacts in the media, has been supressing each and every info that leaks out of the campus.

And with that, we humbly sign out for now, before the above mentioned gentleman wakes up & gets to read this article.

 

P.S. All the above is a work of fiction, with no connection to Amul, Axis Bank, ICICI Pru and L&T Finance. (Disclaimer is as a precaution so as to prevent a repetition of what happened in Mk-2 :D)

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